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PART
TWO
ADDENDUM
"E"
-MY
TESTIMONY-
I
experienced a time in my life when I came under, what might
best be described as, the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
I know
for a fact from that experience, that GOD actively communicates
with us through our conscience.
At that enlightening time GOD
removed all of the scar tissue that had
built up on my conscience
throughout the years, which allowed me to
more clearly see and to better understand my true
self.
That was, in no uncertain terms, a very distressing time.
I was forced to see myself as I really
was, with all of my many faults and
shortcomings: Forced to look at how selfish a person I had
been, and how hurtful I had been to others through my selfishness.
I had been so dishonest with GOD
through the years, as prodigals naturally are, I knew that
there was absolutely no reason why GOD
would want to hear from me.
This conviction generated so much guilt,
I literally could not pray.
The conviction continued for a period of
weeks, until I talked to
a blessed sister who helped me through
Ps.51:1-10. As I began to
repeat Ps.51: with this sister, I truly
felt like the weight of the
world was sitting right on top of me.
I know now that this darkness was
from the weight of the guilt I was carrying.
But by the time I got to v.10, the
weight of my sin was completely gone. And
the joy of
that moment, praise GOD, continues to
this present hour.
That blessed day
when the absolute reality of the Lord GOD came into
my heart and life, I was sitting at home
alone at my dining table
next to a large window.
And this large window overlooked a rolling
field.
At that enlightening moment, it was as if that field was
the world that we live and move in.
At that precise time, the
Lord strongly impressed upon me the
simplicity of life itself. How
we, through our own endeavors, bring
upon ourselves the
complications and confusions in our
lives. The simplicity of this
tranquil landscape was as our lives can
and should be. For we have
nothing that we can obtain or prove,
which can compare to that which
has been done for us by our Lord Jesus.
For the whole duty of man is
simply to love GOD and keep His
commandments.
-Why I do what I do-
But
now I keep feeling that there is a need for me to understand
and communicate the reason why the Lord
called me from where I was,
and has brought me to where I am.
I also believe my life
experiences are an important part of my
overall understanding in
this position.
Throughout my entire life, it would seem that I knew
that GOD was there--somewhere.
But it was in 1978-79 when GOD
revealed His absolute reality to me.
Before this time I knew about
GOD, but now I came to know GOD
personally. We must understand
that there is a great deal of difference between knowing about GOD
and knowing GOD.
It was at that time that I was able to sense the
Lord's presence within my inner being--like a still small voice within
my spirit and an inner peace that does pass all understanding.
At this point in time, I had been involved in my own building
contracting business for about ten
years, I was married with three
daughters, and I was surrounded by
houses, lands, a swimming pool,
horses, boats, snowmobiles, a camper,
heavy construction equipment,
cars, winter vacations in Florida,
fishing trips to Canada, the list
goes on and on.
Some might say--I had it all. It
is because I
possessed all of these worldly things,
that this experience must not
be overlooked.
I would like to interject this thought: When I began
this walk with GOD, somehow I knew these
things were in the process
of going.
At this early time the Lord gave me this Scripture,
Heb.10:32-34 "But recall the former
days in which, after you were
enlightened, you endured a great
struggle... and joyfully accepted
the plundering of your goods."
Looking back, I know now that the
Lord was simply making me an empty
vessel. I do not believe it could
have been done any other way.
I know expressly what it means to
possess the worlds goods, and I know
expressly how the worlds things
can affect our lives.
I also know expressly what temptation is.
I
came out of great sin and degradation:
So much and so bad, I will
respectfully omit any commentary.
Only to say, I have extensive
personal experience in, what GOD calls,
the works (fruit) of the
flesh.
I was also married for twenty-five years and then divorced
by my wife: Who carries none of the
blame or responsibility. As a consequence
of my actions, the
blame and responsibility I reserve
totally for myself.
Because of my family problems, my business and my life both
seemed, at that point in time, to be in
transition. I remember a particular
time when I was in the process of
establishing a new branch company: I
believe the corporation papers had been filed, business cards
printed, etc.
To my best recollection, I believe everything was
ready for full operation.
Alone in my home one night, the Lord
took me through the book of Ecclesiastes
and enlightened me greatly
on the basic value of the things within
the world and within our own
lives.
The impression was so strong against this new business
venture, it was abandoned.
During this same time period, I began
working part-time for Farmers Home
Administration (USDA) as a construction
inspector in Ionia County, and hopefully
being open to whatever the
Lord had for me.
After a short period of time, a full-time
position opened at our state office in
Lansing, which was offered to
me and accepted.
I cannot remember all of the details, but while I
was waiting to make my move to Lansing,
I was sent a number of times
to the Grant District office to help
them catch up with their
construction inspection program.
To make a long story short, the
job that was open in Lansing was never
filled, and a new position
opened in the Grant office, which I
quickly accepted. At the time, I was
impressed with the knowledge that GOD's
hand was in the closing of
the job opportunity in Lansing and the
opening of the job in Grant.
Three of the four people who were
assigned to the Grant office were
Christians--what a stroke of
GOD-fortune. I will tell you how
strong
the impression that I had was--that GOD
was in charge: When I reported
for my new job in the Grant office, I
informed my new supervisor--that
I was not sure how long I would be
working there, because I was not
sure what GOD's plan was for me.
I told him I would be there only as
long as GOD wanted me there.
I spent approximately three
and a half years working in the Grant
office and growing in our Lord Jesus
Christ. The job in Grant was
not overly demanding: For the first two
years, I worked only four
days a week: Which allowed me
considerable time for study and
fellowship.
During this time period the Lord was doing many
things in my life, beginning with my understanding of what had
happened to me.
Since I did not grow up in a Christian home, I did
not have the slightest idea of what a
Christian was. All I knew
for sure, was that GOD was real, Jesus
was real, Heaven was real,
Hell was real, and everyone will eventually have to answer to GOD
and will end up in one place or the
other. I am a little saddened
that the simplicity of my understanding
has become so complicated.
I must confess, I really did not
understand exactly what had happened
to me until a family gathering at a New
Years party 1980: Where a
nephew, who had become a Christian a few
years earlier, recommended
that I read the book of Romans--which he
thought might help me in my
understanding.
And when I did read the book of Romans, GOD opened
my spiritual eyes to understand
precisely what had happened. I believe
it was this understanding that allowed me to really begin
to grow.
The
Lord also delivered me from the bondage of alcohol: I drank
every day, seven days a week, for a very
long time. There is no
doubt, that alcohol was the major factor
in the downfall of my
marriage.
It happened one night when I stopped to restock my
whiskey supply: When I received a very
strong impression in my
spirit that I did not need whiskey any
longer. I literally argued
with GOD concerning this impression.
Sitting there in my van,
across the street from the liquor store,
I reminded GOD that I had been drinking a
very long time and that I did need the whiskey.
After a few minutes of resisting GOD, I gave in and went home empty
handed.
I thank GOD for this freedom--since 1980 I have not had a
drink.
Although, there
was a time in the summer of 1981 during a crisis
in my life: It was when the divorce
decree was final and my
marriage was dissolved.
I had concluded in my heart that I would
get in my van, drive up north, get
myself a bottle of hooch, go down
and park on the river, and get drunk.
The only thing between that
bottle and me, was packing a few things
in my van and an hour and a
half drive.
Apparently, it was very important to GOD that I not take
that drink.
Because, as I was in the process of packing, a very large
and very drunk man came staggering
toward my van. I had never seen
this person before, even though he lived
just up the road.
Anyway, I spent the next hour or
so talking to this young man about the
evils of drinking. And after he
staggered home to his camper, I had the
understanding that GOD's hand was also in this situation. So I told GOD, no, I did not want to go back to that: the drinking
and being drunken.
I did go up north that weekend, and I did spend
some time sitting on the river.
But I did not get that bottle, and I
did not get drunk.
It was in 1984
that I was placed in a situation in which I was
forced to resign from my position in
Grant. At that time, GOD seemed
to be telling me to just go with this
situation--not to fight it. So I resigned
my job in Grant, at which time I was removed from all outside
demands. It would seem that I was being
led to withdraw and to commune with the
Lord. I began this isolated study
to seek the answers to the many
contradictions within the visible Church. So
as the Lord led me in His Word, I sought
to understand the truths of GOD.
From the
very beginning I have depended upon one source for
truth--the Word of GOD, and one
Scripture in particular, 1Jn.2:27
"But the anointing which you have
received from Him abides in you, and
you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing
teaches you concerning all things, and
is true, and is not a lie, and
just as it has taught you, you will
abide in Him." This
Scripture presents my only qualifications
for presenting this work. I am not
a theologian, I am not a writer, and I am not traditionally educated.
To accomplish
the initial portion of this work, I have used the Holy Bible (ASV, NKJV, KJV,
KJII interlinear,(Ref. NASV, NIV, LB, and MLB)
Strong's exhaustive
concordance, Vine's dictionary,
Theological Wordbook of the Old
Testament, and Webster's dictionary.
I would now
respectfully and humbly submit these notes that I have
arranged for your careful consideration.
Thank you
Aaron
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